so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
