Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
