I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
