There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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