i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
