Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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