i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
