why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
