i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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