oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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