Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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