It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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