I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
