omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
