belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
