Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
