you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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