I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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