smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
