this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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