I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize