you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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