By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
