I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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