i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Let's get the cat blown out
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
