the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize