well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
