do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
