Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
