sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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