it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
