You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
