it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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