it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
