Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
