smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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