Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
