i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
