Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
