I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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