Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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