we have pet lesbian snakes
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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