Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We are two peas in an std pod
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
