If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
