Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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