theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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