just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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