I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
