two words: eviction party
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
