Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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