just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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