We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
