well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
