girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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