The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
