How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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