Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
