Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
