when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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