So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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