I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
