I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize