She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
